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....your goal is to feel good.Which is to say — be mindful of focusing on and talking incessantly about what you’re healing and why. I’ll explain what to do instead in the next 4 minutes.
Sure, it’s important to acknowledge what happened and what you need and want to address. That isn’t the end game though, is it? Doesn’t feel that great to explain away your power and joy, does it? Awesome, now we’re on the same page. So if you aren’t focusing on your wounds, what then? ..how about a compelling vision instead? It’s like this… …healing heartbreak is a different journey than working toward a vision to enjoy your full, open, and connected heart. The latter includes healing your heartbreak, but that storyline can meander, especially if you start to identify with and build your life around it. You can focus on your broken heart OR why it’s important for you to have a whole one. Plus, if you focus on your gaping wound abysses, you’ll probably miss a lot of great things happening now. You could become so concerned with how and why you should feel bad, powerless, or lonely that you neglect to notice when you don’t. Things will take the time they take and yet you’re the conductor of your attention. What you focus on determines the quality and progression of your days and life. LET ME EMPHASIZE that focusing intentionally is NOT the same as ignoring what happened, how you feel, or what needs to be done. Being intentional about your vision isn’t denial. It’s a commitment to SEE, FEEL, AND ACT in accordance with what is without getting mentally stuck on what you don’t want. In low states, the mind may insist you can’t and won’t get anywhere good from your present problem. That makes things look and feel heavier and harder they may actually be. So heavy and so hard that you may not bother to try to improve things. I think we ignore what needs to be seen, felt, or acted on because we lack confidence in ourselves and life. We opt out of living fully because we deny who we are (an expression of the divine). If you were assured that you were able, supported, even encouraged to live beautifully and richly, what would be so scary? No problem is too big for you because no problem is too big for the divine. Yes, the path may be different than the one you have in mind. Sure, sometimes it hurts and seems wrong. Living in harmony with the divine does require a bit of humility. You might notice I’m saying, ‘Surrender and accept what is.’ And earlier I said, “Hold onto a vision.” Yes and yes. It’s both, man. You continue to work toward your vision while you love and accept here and now as it is. Healing isn’t the end, baby. It’s just the beginning. Remember……your goal is to feel good.
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 The blonde is Paige, my baby sister, who lived on earth from 1/15/1990 to 8/8/2011
This is for you if you’re feeling or have felt a substantial loss. “Loss” isn’t reserved for death. You can feel it with opportunities, relationships, versions of yourself, phases of living, and, actually, change of all kinds. I wrote these 5 strategies on the 11th anniversary of my little sister’s suicide. They’re ways I found to digest death and then living. Or maybe living and then death. It all depends how you look at it, as most everything does. 1. It hurts. Let’s be real about it first, it f’n hurts, man. I spent the last decade trying to figure out the secrets to the universe and get beyond all pain. What I came up with is — sometimes things just hurt. When something hurts, it seems important that you acknowledge it. I didn’t know how to deal with what I was feeling when I lost my sister so I really didn’t. Processing hurt real-time seems to prevent you from spilling that pain onto other people and making more for yourself. Over the years, I learned to prioritize be loving and supportive of myself when I’m hurting rather than think my way around it or deny it. You can’t anyhow. Denying how you feel is like when the Cat in the Hat tries to clean the pink ring off the tub. He gets the ring on the dress. Then from the dress to the wall. And so on. When you aren’t with how you feel, those ‘disturbances’ will show up in how you communicate, what you eat, what you think is possible, and most anything else for yeeearrss. It’s ok that it hurts. It will evolve into something lighter and more manageable if you let it. 2. Mind Your Power While I didn’t discover an end to all pain, I did find you can make more or less of it. Are you telling a story about why it shouldn’t have happened or how it’s wrong? More pain. Are you letting what is be what is and looking for ways to grow through it? Less pain. The way you think about things and how you talk about them can and will determine what happens next. You still hafta feel what you feel, but you do have a choice to let it be ok. Let’s be real, not letting it be ok doesn’t do anything. Whether we like it or not, life includes loss. It’s up to you the way you want to think and talk about it, and what you want to do next. 3. Hey, sooo.. what are we doin’? It seems incredibly useful to check-in and ask yourself what you’re really doing every so often. For example, guilt seems essential. And it is for as long as it takes for you to see you’d like to make different choices. After that, it’s counterproductive. Mourning a loss seems essential. And it is for as long as you do it naturally. After that, it keeps you away from everything that remains. When you’re in the throes of emotion or thought, sometimes you lose touch with what’s actually happening. So ask yourself every now and then, what am I doing? What do I think that does? What does it actually do? What is my point? What do I value? What could I do for that? 4. Celebrate There’s not gonna be another Paige (my sister), another high school, another whatever was. Each and everything is one of a kind. It wasn’t until this year that I realized I was holding onto the possibility she’d come back. I know it sounds wild, but somewhere deep inside of me I was keeping hope that I’d get her, or something like her, back. I can’t. There’s no going or getting back. Loss is an incredible wake-up call to love what is while you can. Celebrate everything. Each life song only plays once. It’s a live concert, no rewinds or repeats. 5. A Higher Power When Paige died, I didn’t have the interest or capacity to consider anything like god or faith. The only things I trusted were myself and that everything must happen for a reason. The life I lived after that loss, the somewhat reckless quest for solutions to suffering, ended up taking me on an intense journey beyond those ideas. It culminated with a very personal experience of god, which to me is another word for life, the universe, spirit, the quantum field, and alllll that is. My content and work now come from that experience. My whole life does actually. I can’t put into words what transcends words, but I can say if you haven’t yet explored Who you are, who you really are, it’s worth it. Faith in god has been my saving grace. Original content & love from Shaylee Edwards & habitbook.com August 8th is International Paige Day, the anniversary of my beautiful younger sister’s suicide. I always write, or almost always write, something to honor her life. Here are prior year tributes.  Stuck in a loop? Check your programs
As if life wasn’t strange enough, try this on for size — humans are programmable. Yup. You have been programmed, my friend. This operating software (OS) is likely running you and your life. I say likely because, who knows, you might already be one of those empowered-in-the-present people. In which case your responses to life would be intentionally aligned with your desires and what’s correct for you. If you aren’t there yet, you’re probably doing things both big and small that don’t match what you really want. How could you? Your programming is old, from people who aren’t you, and/or designed to keep you ‘safe’ in the familiar. As a result, you could be reliving the same problems (in your life or head) over and over again. You might feel overwhelmed, uninspired, or just plain checked out. You might even notice you’re stuck in those patterns. When I say patterns, I mean those feedback loops of life and you. You do something (or don’t) and life does something (or doesn’t). Or in the other order. Patterns are symptoms of programs. You might not be hip to the pattern, but you likely notice its results (or lack thereof). Here’s a breakdown of a pattern of not doing what’s best for you in relationships: Perceived cause: “I don’t say what I need or want.” Perceived effect: “People don’t respect me. I end up doing things I don’t want to.” The bad news with that last one is that it isn’t actually a ‘them’ thing. No matter how many times you’ve said or thought it was. It’s a ‘you’ problem. It’s a ‘you’ program. The good news is that ’cause it’s yours, you can change it. Here the pattern that’s really at play: OS cause: You don’t believe people can or will respect you. OS effect: You don’t feel, think, act, or speak like they will. See? Both you. Great news, huh ;) The underlying pattern is the result of how you’ve been programmed. The problem OS code could say:
Would you know you believe those things? Probably not. While we’re aware of some beliefs we /think/ we have, we aren’t aware of most of the ones in our OS. Mostly because our OS dictates much of what comes into our awareness, what we think about it, and what we think we can do in response. Can your OS see and evaluate your OS? While a pattern seems visible, it’s really what you can’t see that is the pattern. They are patterns of perception and interpretation, basically the application of your subconsciously-held beliefs. These beliefs constitute your OS and run your life automatically and often invisibly. They make decisions about what to perceive and how to perceive it based on who you believe you are, what you believe things mean, and what you believe is possible for you. Many of the problems people consistently encounter are because of their OS. Programming includes beliefs about who you are which you learn in relation to other people, particularly as a child. You might have some like I did. Here are two that kept me in some pretty unhealthy situations: 1. I have to adapt to things that suck. 2. It isn’t ok for me to have or express emotions. Of course, I didn’t see those programs but they ran my life by filtering my experience and available choices. Yes, I definitely thought and said it was everything and everybody else’s fault first. Think you have some not-so-great programming, too? Start by being honest about what isn’t working in your life, owning it, and becoming curious about what you must believe if you act/feel the way you do. It takes a little willingness to undergo OS updates. They can be pretty uncomfortable at first. Just like with your phone’s OS, a big update will take a little time to get used to. You won’t do things the same way after it. Your perception will have changed and thereby so will what you see. It can be a lil awkward and unfamiliar. Yet, if you know that the update is for your ultimate good, then it’s easier to work with the changes without being caught up in what was ‘lost’ or the discomfort of doing/being new. Before you start to work with your OS consciously, you might be making on-top adjustments to your programs. It’s like adding programs on top of programs that don’t work so they can sorta work. These usually fall apart under strain or when the environment changes. In my case, they busted at higher thresholds of success. My core OS included some hefty programming errors around what I deserved to have and that life was supposta hurt. Whoops. Developing a presence practice can help you notice when things aren’t simple or natural. That would be a clue you’ve got some on-top adjustments that are compensating for underlying OS issues. The moral of this story is pretty great. You’re in charge of your destiny. If you find you’re not generating results that work for you, you can do a lil work to find out what you need to believe for things to function better. The fastest way to update your entire OS? Learn to love it exactly as it is. No kidding. This one belief — I love myself and my life no matter what — is unconditional love, the master code. Visit my instagram, youtube, and shop here. Self-awareness Trauma Self Improvement  To me, 'life' and 'god' are synonymous. They're words that describe all of us, all of everything, connected as One.
I liked this quote because what we can conceive of is much less than what's possible. A lot of the work I've done for myself and with clients over the years is removing the 'should look like's and the 'shoulda been like's to make space for what it is and what it was. From there, what can be looks a lot different. The tension between expectations and reality can sometimes be debilitating. For example, if you think that your life should have gone differently, you might have so much sadness, guilt, or regret that moving toward to anything better seems impossible. But what if you only *thought* it could have been different? That's the crazy part about the mind. .. well actually there are a lot of crazy parts about the mind.. but how it measures life against ideas can sound so convincing. Convincing enough that you give up the rest of your life because you *think* the first part went wrong. I recorded a lot of content on these imaginary yet sometimes devastating pitfalls of thinking this year. It's on my igtv on https://lnkd.in/gXwjDdKn and also youtube.com/theshayleeshow This quote reminds me that my job is to stay true to the light in my heart, the present moment (however, wherever it is), and the reality that I couldn't possibly guess how to get somewhere I've never been. I'll emphasize 'somewhere *I've* never been' because we are all on unique paths, even if it seems like we stop at some of the same places. Different starts, different tools, different adventures. Even different experiences of the 'same' places. It can be profoundly relieving to start to consider that you're ok where and as you are. Giving yourself permission to put down the ideas and judgment can make things lighter. Maybe even light enough to see that it's worth trying again. Visit me at https://lnkd.in/gjN3gR5q for support in organizing your mind & opening your heart toward more life.  First, ‘shadow.’ What does that mean?
Your shadow is a collection of your behaviors, patterns of thinking, ways of relating, and lenses of perception that aren’t welcomed by your conscious self. They’re the parts that you don’t think are good enough, you’re afraid you can’t control, and/or are related to experiences that are too painful to face head-on. You guessed it, not all of us are rolling with the same level of shade. Some of our shadows are pitch black, others just a fuzzy, beige’y gray. The ‘darker’ it is, the harder it is for you to see it, and the more fear (anxiety) you likely wrestle day-to-day. Seeing your shadow aspects are acknowledging them as part of the spectrum of your experience and expression. It’s cute — we really do want to be good people. We so badly want to be that we’ll exclude parts of ourselves that might compromise us *thinking* that we are. The aspects of yourself that you banish to your shadow aren’t erased from your expression or experience. I like to explain shadows like dinosaur tails. Big ol’ bulky ones. You, as the dino, set things up with your hands. Then you turn around and knock them over with your tail. But, because you can’t see your own tail, you assume somebody or something else is knockin’ your stuff over. Carl Jung says it a little more grown-up’ly -- ‘Until you make the unconscious conscious, it will direct your life and you will call it fate.’ Let’s look at some examples .Example 1: :Most adult humans have a fairly natural sexual urge. Our culture doesn’t really honor that inner experience and so we learn to suppress it into a shadow. Your sexual shadow might show up as you being critical of others who have a more open sexual experience. It might be distorted into some kind of behavior like secretive porn usage. Or you might ‘do nothing’ that shows signs of suppression and instead lose access to things that come with that kind of energy, like creativity and vitality. Example 2: I’ll put this plainly -- darling, most everything that you’re judging in someone else is yours. Here’s an example — “My boss acts like he knows everything. He never listens. It’s his way or the highway..” You will 100% think this is who he is. And he might be. And yet, in most cases, if you looked for it, you’d probably find those same patterns somewhere in your own behavior. Maybe you’re that way with your kids. Maybe you’re that way about your religion. Maybe that’s the flavor of your inner dialogue. Until you ‘integrate’ that aspect of yourself and Own it, it will Own you. That means that you’ll keep running into it in life and feeling some-type-of-way about it until you come to 1. See. 2. Accept. 3. Forgive. and 4. Start to change your own behavior. Example 3: ‘I’m just a lil lamb and big, bad wolves keep getting me!’ This is one of my fav shadows to light up. Maybe you tried what I suggested in #2 and you’re like, ‘No, I am not a raging a$$hole. I’m actually a good person. That stuff isn’t me.’ Good, I’m happy you’re able to know that. Your shadow here then is DENIAL of your power. It’s likely a pattern you learned through fear and pain. You probably gave away AWARENESS of your power for real reasons back in the day. Here, the shadow is not being aware of your power to do something about your situation. You’ve abdicated your truth, ability to stand up for yourself, and/or belief in alternative possibilities. (Of course, there are instances more complex than this, so please know I respect that and am happy to hear about situations you find outside of these short-post simplifications.) You use a lot of energy keeping something in your shadow. It’s like constantly fidgeting with a shirt that you think looks a little too tight or revealing. You can’t relax. You might also be mildly to completely terrified of life. Your shadow is made of natural things you can’t control (as in example #1), ‘bad’ patterns you don’t think are ‘right’ (like #2), and your bad-ass and complete claim of power, worth, and intelligence (#3). Why wouldn’t you be a little wary of life with that mix? Shadow work is coming to see these parts are legit and lovable, all of ’em. No matter what your mix of #1’s, 2’s, and 3’s, you can find peace with them. Which is the same as finding peace with yourself. Which is the same as finding peace with life. Can you be shadow-free? I don’t know, but I wouldn’t want to be. ..Although at one time I did want to be. But that’s because part of my shadow was thinking that shadows were bad. Nah babe, they’re the yang to our yin. Yes, of course, tidy up the parts that rain on your parade and the parts that aren’t respectful to other people. But the rest, f’n celebrate it. The shadow contains some of the coolest parts of being human — raw aliveness, a sense of adventure, a portal to infinite potential, the end ranges of emotion, creativity, individuality, sexuality, and alllll the joys of creaturehood.  Boundaries are the foundation for trust in yourself and thereby trust in others and life. Effective ones come from an honest awareness of yourself. We’ll start by exploring what that is.
An honest awareness of yourself is acknowledging: what you like, what you value,how you feel, what you want, and what’s right for you right now. It’s not: what you *think* those things should be, what they are for you partner, mom, neighbor, or boss, what they useta be or might be later, or even use what you *think* they need to be for your lovers ‘n friends. Our culture trains people away from that honest awareness. We’re led to believe there’s a ‘right’ way to think, be, feel, or do that’s different than what we’d do naturally. Our schools, media, and language quietly encourage us to stifle our real selves and front the ‘right’ thing instead. Don’t worry, you can find and cultivate the awareness of yourself again with practice. It looks like these kinds of habits: taking a pause before you order the same lunch again and sincerely asking yourself what you’re hungry for today. You can’t have real boundaries unless you know yourself. What would you be advocating for if you didn’t? An honest awareness of yourself tells you what you want to share, ask, and protect and why. It identifies what you need to function and what you want to feel satisfied. Knowing that creates the desire and ability to communicate it when necessary. That communication makes it possible to authentically connect and effectively collaborate. Letting yourself hear and see yourself drastically improves your ability to interface with everything. It’s the first step in establishing boundaries. Boundaries honor yourself. Not who you think you should be, not who you’ll one day become, not who your dad needs you to be. You. You right now. You with all the contradictory ways you think and feel. The genius and dreams within you. The strange or unproductive choices you make. The love in your heart. The embarrassing inner struggles, missing clarity, and general overwhelm. The gifts, experiences, questions, answers, pains, pleasures. You without a bit excluded. Honoring allll those might seem like the worst thing to do. One because, oh sh!t, you’ll have to acknowledge them as part of yourself. Two because, oh sh!t, wouldn’t you rather be ‘better’ than that? Shouldn’t we start with who you could be? Nope. This is where we start because that’s self-respect. Boundaries usually make us think of other people respecting us, but they’re actually how we respect ourselves. Our selves are not the cookie-cutter, paper doll, instagram-filtered versions we think they should be. Our selves have varying degrees of complexity, depth, discord, and mystery. The only way to bring those pieces into harmony and working order is to see, accept, and love them as they are. You can’t chop off your shadow. You can’t delegate your pain. You can’t live anyone else’s story. You’re you. You with the pieces you love, like, hate, hide, deny, and project. Real, true, healthy boundaries start when you begin to accept you’re not going to be nor would you want to be the ‘front’ you think you should. Self-respect begins with saying, “Hey, you. You with the shiny parts, gray areas, and dark shadows. It’s great to meet you. I’m looking forward to becoming good friends and doing this thing together.” It’s only by valuing your whole self that you can create a life that fits. You have to take the mixed bag because, let’s be real, what choice do you have? You can’t go anywhere without you. And to be real’er, you wouldn’t want to leave anything out. Your angels and demons are two sides of the same coin. Can’t have one without the other. No, I’m not saying those rough and heavy pieces will always be that way. I’m saying you gotta love ’em to transform them to something higher. I bet you didn’t think we’d be here in our boundaries conversation. Went a lil deep, didn’t we? This is how I found to home-grow ones that are natural and easy to have and maintain. Loving and respecting yourself make honoring what you need and want mind-blowingly obvious. Boundaries reinforce lines that matter because You do. Boundaries are inside first and foremost. They establish gardens where you can tend to your heart, mind, soul, and ability to be in relationships. It’s cute, I know, but it’s the truth. Boundaries exist to allow you to cultivate yourself and your life in a way that’s meaningful to you. Boundaries emerge from an honest awareness of self. You won’t tend to a garden about authentic communication unless you acknowledge that it’s hard for you to give and receive it. You can’t allocate resources for music until you accept that you feel better about life when you’re making it. You aren’t going to let that old relationship fade except for when you see that it’s preventing a new one, which you admitted is important to you. Being so-honest-with-yourself-it’s-funny is essential to boundary’izing your inner world well. That means being open to hearing who and what you like, even if it seems inconvenient at first. There’s no way you can use boundaries with other people until you see and respect your personal experience. Don’t worry, after you get done laughing about who and what you’re surprised you actually don't like, it doesn’t mean you have to do anything. Those changes come naturally over time. For now, just take yourself by the hand, bring you out to where you can see you, and let things be what they are. The meaningful gardens and the this-is-how-it-really-is info create a possibility for you to love yourself. That means you can BEGIN to take care of yourself as you are, warts, tiaras, and all. This is self-respect. Through this process, you begin to see life with less fear and more clarity. All of that adds up to better decision-making and a belief that you can do new things, hard things, and anything’s. Wahlah! Now your boundaries are complete. …huh? I know, we didn’t talk about about how to tell mom you aren’t coming to Christmas or that you need your boss to delegate differently. I didn’t tell you how to control your spending or follow your dreams. There’s not one bit about anybody else up there for one simple reason -- once you learn how to see, respect, and love yourself as you are, things get pretty simple. You come to more readily know what’s right for you and have a growing desire to communicate and act accordingly. No, it’s not instantaneous. Yes, you’ll stumble. Still, it only takes a few success stories to start to believe in yourself in new, powerful ways. Your relationship with everything changes because your relationship with yourself is healthier. Boundaries are a natural expression of self-love and self-respect. You probably wouldn’t have believed that acknowledging you don’t really like Aunt Paula, you love karaoke, or you need more sleep would translate to being able to tell your partner you need to off-load that project, your lover you want to cuddle more, or your dad you already heard that story. Still, the only person that needs to respect you and your boundaries is yourself. Now you have a pathway to real change. My intention in this article was to assist you in healing the root cause of non-existent or poor boundaries. Welcome home ❤ My own healing journey, intense desire to help, and divine guidance brought me to the topic of boundaries. I’ve worked with clients since 2016 to organize their minds and habits, transcend limiting beliefs, and break frustrating patterns. If you’d like more information about what working together is like, book a free info call at http://habitbook.com/ Being nice isn’t always nice.Most people who are nice to be nice (rather than nice out of sincere and sustainable caring) become tortured by this self-imposed protocol. They do things they don’t want to. They say things they don’t mean. They defer their inclinations, instincts, and interests to accommodate people who likely don’t care or are stuck in the same martyr pattern.
Original Photo, New Orleans 2022I’m not saying be mean. I’m saying being nice-for-nice’s-sake keeps people in dynamics, relationships, and jobs they would have naturally left or evolved through honest participation. What is nice really? What do we actually mean to do?I think the true point is to remember that other people are people, too. We all are important. It’s being considerate of someone else’s experience. The wear and tear of nice-for-nice’s-sake show up when that consideration is at the expense of your own experience, your own truth. We only think that our own truth isn’t nice though, right? Isn’t it kind of nice to know what’s really going on? Isn’t sorta nice to be given the opportunity to respond to what someone really thinks and feels? Isn’t it a bit nicer if we give ourselves and each other the grace to be human and not take things so personally? Being nice to others without being honest with yourself and in your expression isn’t actually nice. It’s control. Being honest in your expression doesn’t mean you’re out there knocking over other people’s sandcastles. You’ll likely be more considerate of others than when you were nice because you’d have a framework for respect… because you respect yourself. You can’t give what you don’t have. As your behavior moves to more authentically represent your actual preferences and feelings, your life will reorganize toward people, circumstances, and things that you truly like and enjoy. Which makes tending to them a lot easier and life a lot more exciting, right? How to implement:
Thank you for reading ‘n being ❤ I’m delighted to produce original content for people who know they’ve got something inside ’em to give. Hey & love @ new world leadersVisit habitbook.com to book a free info call or schedule a session to transform your communication patterns If you find yourself in a season of chaos, discomfort, confusion, or even pain, these questions might help you steer more confidently: ➖What do I want this to mean? 🛳What does this obstacle block? ➖Why might or how could I *want* it to be blocked? 🛳What becomes vulnerable or unknown beyond this point? ➖Who & what do I need to forgive? 🛳Why I am I committed to this breakthrough? ➖What might it be like to allow more grace? 🛳What can I be grateful for or in reverence of relative to this experience? Original content and photo, Shaylee Edwards 2023  This one’s for you if you have a pattern of committing to epic (or even basic) changes and not really following through.
You probably think that when it’s time to accomplish something or change, you should *just* commit. Declare, own it, do it. Force or fail. Rugged, do-or-die commitment. As if that wasn’t extreme enough, I bet you make those commitments when change is desperately wanted. Declaring from that low point might influence your commitments to be overly ambitious and unreasonable, since you likely want to get as far away as possible from where you are. In any case, you mean it — “This time I’m gonna do it!” Do any of these sound familiar:
I get it. One, from my own life, and two, from supporting people for almost a decade in behavior change. We *think* a sincere declaration to commit will summon the change gods. And you know what? Sometimes it does. Sometimes for some people, it does. However, if it hasn’t worked for you, here are some other steps to try BEFORE you commit:
Let’s be real, all this post did was give you permission to step outside of what you *think* should be and to work with what is. Or rather, it reminded you you can give yourself permission. Bonus Q’s: How else are you thinking about what you could do or should do in ways that doesn’t actually help yah out? How can you start to play it how it lies? Why mightcha want to? What’s not working when you *don’t* work with you? Are you afraid what will happen if you make the change for good? .. why? Sessions, shop, podcasts, & more -> https://linktr.ee/shayleeedwards The ego is kind of like a book you write about yourself. You make notes about what you do, can’t do, should do, desire for, aspire to, etc. It’s like a collection of ideas that explain and describe you.
Or at least what you *think* to include in the book. There’s a lot of you that you can’t see. And, this is kinda funny, you also go into your book and make notes from other people to and about you. Or rather, what you think they think. You make notes of that, too. You spend a pretty silly amount of time and energy background-worrying if you’re staying consistent with what your book says about you. You even want to stay consistent with the negative notes and the ones you already know aren’t true. You can become reallllllyy protective of this book, these ideas of who you are. You consult it constantly and pretty much instantaneously. ‘Hmm, let me see what that’ll mean for my ideas about myself.’ Spiritualists give the ego a bunch of sh!t because it does make life a bit harder for you to be present and live freely. Much of what’s in the book is untrue, or outdated. A lot has likely never even been helpful. What’s ironic is that being mad at egos or having a contentious relationship with yours is just more ego. So then what’s not ego? It’s your heart, girl. It’s when you forget about yourself and just do what’s to be doin’. No, not like you forget to eat and have a home. Like you forget to think of yourself and you live. It’s a lot easier than referencing your you-book because then you can make new choices. Which is helpful because the environment, no matter how ‘the same’ it looks, is always new, too. It also gives you a break from thinking about what you think others are thinking. I find that one pretty amusing. Let’s look at it, you aren’t even using what they actually think. Only what you think they think. Like you could really know. Lol. Like they even know. Lol. Chances are good they’re not seeing you anyhow except with and through their own book. The ego gives you the illusion of control. It’s not even real, it’s only what you think to put in it. I know people who have spent their lives without using their most beautiful and brilliant gifts ’cause they didn’t have them noted. If you want to start to do something about your ego, practice breathing. Really. That’s it. Anything more complex than that is just more ideas about yourself and what you think you’re doing. Breathe yourself out of your mind chatter and into your moment and practice taking a look and feel around. What’s here? What’s happening? How do I feel? What do I want? You have to be a little childlike and forget you’ve been pretending to know WTF is happening and what it means. You have to… and this might scare you… delight a little in the miracle and the mystery of life instead of dread and fight it. An ego isn’t a bad thing. It isn’t anything. It’s just an idea. To put your you-book on the shelf for good, give yourself some time and develop a practice of noticing when you’re using it instead of the truth — you’re an indefinable, limitless expression of the divine. Original content, all rights reserved. |
Shaylee EdwardsDancin' to the rhythm of my heart. 
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