is your ego running your life?
The ego is kind of like a book you write about yourself. You make notes about what you do, can’t do, should do, desire for, aspire to, etc. It’s like a collection of ideas that explain and describe you.
Or at least what you *think* to include in the book. There’s a lot of you that you can’t see. And, this is kinda funny, you also go into your book and make notes from other people to and about you. Or rather, what you think they think. You make notes of that, too.
You spend a pretty silly amount of time and energy background-worrying if you’re staying consistent with what your book says about you. You even want to stay consistent with the negative notes and the ones you already know aren’t true.
You can become reallllllyy protective of this book, these ideas of who you are. You consult it constantly and pretty much instantaneously. ‘Hmm, let me see what that’ll mean for my ideas about myself.’
Spiritualists give the ego a bunch of sh!t because it does make life a bit harder for you to be present and live freely. Much of what’s in the book is untrue, or outdated. A lot has likely never even been helpful.
What’s ironic is that being mad at egos or having a contentious relationship with yours is just more ego.
So then what’s not ego?
It’s your heart, girl.
It’s when you forget about yourself and just do what’s to be doin’. No, not like you forget to eat and have a home. Like you forget to think of yourself and you live. It’s a lot easier than referencing your you-book because then you can make new choices. Which is helpful because the environment, no matter how ‘the same’ it looks, is always new, too.
It also gives you a break from thinking about what you think others are thinking. I find that one pretty amusing. Let’s look at it, you aren’t even using what they actually think. Only what you think they think. Like you could really know. Lol. Like they even know. Lol. Chances are good they’re not seeing you anyhow except with and through their own book.
The ego gives you the illusion of control. It’s not even real, it’s only what you think to put in it. I know people who have spent their lives without using their most beautiful and brilliant gifts ’cause they didn’t have them noted.
If you want to start to do something about your ego, practice breathing. Really. That’s it. Anything more complex than that is just more ideas about yourself and what you think you’re doing. Breathe yourself out of your mind chatter and into your moment and practice taking a look and feel around. What’s here? What’s happening? How do I feel? What do I want?
You have to be a little childlike and forget you’ve been pretending to know WTF is happening and what it means. You have to… and this might scare you… delight a little in the miracle and the mystery of life instead of dread and fight it.
An ego isn’t a bad thing. It isn’t anything. It’s just an idea. To put your you-book on the shelf for good, give yourself some time and develop a practice of noticing when you’re using it instead of the truth — you’re an indefinable, limitless expression of the divine.
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what are you even healing?
This series is called ‘Let’s be healed,’ with ‘healed’ crossed out and replaced with ‘Real’. Real over healed to emphasize the main point of the healing process — to be real, yo. Really, authentically yourself. Present, true to yourself and what you love, and free to act accordingly. Healing is to come to a place where you feel safe, inspired, and like yourself. To be in the moment in a way that effortlessly reflects what you truly value, feel, and want.
What I intend to do with this series is simplify the healing process in your mind and therefore in your life. I’m filming episodes live on Instagram, and then adjusting the transcripts to publish here, for quick read n’ ref. As of this writing, five episodes have already been filmed and pushed to youtube. Let’s talk more about the main point --
What is ‘healed’?‘Healed’ is a state where you can respond from the present moment as yourself, true to your highest desires with an open, discerning heart. That’s the destination. The destination is not in the past. We associate healing with what’s behind us. You cannot heal the past. It’s over. What you’re actually interested in healing is the effect those experiences have had on your beliefs, your concepts of self, and the ways that you respond to life.
Healing is *not* about coming up with ways to explain why you don’t have power.Healing is about recognizing and claiming the power you’ve always had so you can use it now and going forward. It’s a bit of a trip to realize your total freedom (and responsibility), but that’s the sensation you’re seeking. That’s what you instinctually know is possible. That’s what you’re trying to unlock by healing.
Healing gets confused with being able to explain and understand behavior that doesn’t serve you. I spent several years doing that and hear me out — that’s like having a cut on your knee and instead of tending to the wound, you spend your time talking about and reenacting how it happened. You’re certainly welcome to do that forever and/or as much as it’s helpful to come to terms with the accident, but I promise what you want is the ability to move freely with a healed knee. It’s not about the accident. It’s about a functional knee.
When we start talking about healing, what most people think of are things in the big, bad trauma genre. Abuse, loss, poverty. Yet being unable to express fully as yourself is traumatic, too. Most people have had that experience. If you’ve gone through a school system or were born on Earth in the last 50, 60, 5,000 years, you’ve been trained to deny a lot of what’s natural to you. To sit still, wear a social mask, be who your parents think you should be, look like these celebrities, pursue those accomplishments, spend your time in these ways, value (or don’t) yourself because…
As contemporary humans, we’re conditioned to deny our individuality. It’s a pretty subtle process and it ends up with us having an idea of who or how we should be and feeling bad about ourselves for not ever hitting that imaginary, homogenous, profit-driven mark.
Whether you’re working through big bad trauma or the low-grade societal kind, I’ll do my best to make what I found from 1000s of hours with clients and in my own lab available to you so that you can be your real self as fast as possible. Free to Be here and now, that’s the goal.
It’s super easy to get caught up in looking behind and around you as you start to notice and resent that you aren’t standing up for yourself, following your passions, connecting deeply with others, etc.
Of course, your mind wants to figure out why that’s happening and you start to pull the pieces together — “Oh, Mom did this, Dad didn’t do that, TV did this, and and and…” While that can be helpful in some ways to facilitate understanding (which I’ll talk about in other episodes), it’s so easy to get lost in your stories and forget the point of being in those stories — to heal.
Remember, you’re looking back because you truly want to enjoy right now as you are.We’ll continue this and related topics in subsequent episodes. Questions, comments, shares, and subscribes encouraged! Thank you!
Visit me on Instagram, at habitbook.com or email me email@example.com
Dancin' to the rhythm of my heart.